Mom, I think I have ADD! – Learner's Clinic

A couple of months ago my younger daughter who is a junior at high school came to me using this expression: “Mom, I think I have ADD”. I replied to her: “What makes you think you have an attention deficit disorder?” She said: “do you know how hard it is for me to learn in a classroom? Most of the time I’m just looking at the clock wishing time goes faster”. She said she didn’t like school anymore. For her, every day at school felt like a burden and sometimes she felt she can not even breathe. I told her that ADHD is not something you develop with time, it is a brain regulation disorder that affects more than
10% of American children and signs of ADHD need to be evident before age 12. She was formally assessed when she was 7 years old and the results of the evaluation showed she had the ability to sustain attention. So what could be wrong,? What could be affecting her learning like this?

She was recently diagnosed with anxiety, but what changed? She used to love school, she had good grades and many awards, she always wanted to be part of all school activities especially if she had the opportunity to lead a dancing group. In the beginning, we thought that the reason for her anxiety was due to the fact that we moved to the USA and she left behind friends, family and a home filled with childhood memories, but it’s been more than four years and she “can’t get over it”. What happens at her school on a daily basis that made her feel so unfit?

This past year I took an opportunity to work as a teacher in one of our county’s schools and what I discovered helped me understand her better. First, students can’t disconnect from their social media life even though phones are not allowed at schools. They manage to hide and sneak them in the classroom somehow, and the drama never stops. Being away from their phones is already an anxiety producer. Their peers’ opinions determine their self-esteem. And what about the drills? There are not only drills in case of fire but also lockdowns, and believe me, if they are not aware that it is “just a drill” they can be terrified.
I remember my first lockdown, I didn’t know what was going on but my students told me, after closing windows, locking doors and hiding the best they could in corners and under desks, they beg me to check my email for an announcement. Because there was no email about the matter they were under the impression that a shooter was at the school and that they would probably die. They couldn’t breathe. They were all over me and some girls were about to cry when the assistant director walked the halls checking that every door was locked. No wonder they don’t want to go to school, it’s a matter of life or death. Plus the amount of material they have to learn quickly and all the testing and demands we put over them to help them become standard citizens.

The reality is that according to the National Institute of Health, nearly 1 in 3 of all adolescents ages 13 to 18 will experience an anxiety disorder. The following is a checklist of signs that I copied from Healthychildren.org that might help you identified if your teen is suffering from anxiety:

Recurring fears and worries about routine parts of everyday life
Changes in behavior, such as irritability
Avoiding activities, school, or social interactions
Dropping grades or school avoidance
Trouble sleeping or concentrating
Substance use or other risky behaviors
Chronic physical complaints, such as fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches.

My daughter checked all the above. Her treatment includes prescription from the psychiatrist, she has a therapy Counselor, she has gone to youth retreats, she uses CBD oils and she still can’t manage. She suffers almost every day from stomach aches, she is not ready for school on time, she irritates easily and has poor grades. In the meantime we try to support her, we try not to overwhelm her and we listen. I, honestly, hope that she would continue her education in her own terms and without being a victim of this crippling anxiety. In the meantime, I just pray and believe that one day this shall pass and she will find joy in learning again.