Blog – Learner's Clinic

September 30, 2019September 30, 2019

What works for a child with ADHD?

People ask me what works when your child has a learning disability? The answer is everything, especially when your child is young. When I say everything, I mean a well define structure environment that includes behavioral therapy, special educators, speech pathologist, educational therapy or tutors, recreational therapy or sports, pharmacological therapy, a puppy (yes I said a puppy, dogs are amazing helpers with behavioral components), but more than anything committed parents, behind most stories of success there is a mom or a dad that never gave up.

An incomplete treatment would not produce the expected results and paying for all kind of therapies would require lot of money, so what to do? If you suspect your child is a struggle learner waiting is not an option, you child should be formally assessed. If the school procrastinate the assessment and you have the means to pay for it go ahead and do it, the results from the assessment are the most important tools when advocating in favor of your kid. The diagnosis will determine the placement of your child and the recommendations will help you find the required help. Most health insurance companies cover the cost of therapy and meds. I couldn’t afford the cost of all these therapies and family members helped me pay for some of them, the ones we couldn’t afford we looked for options.

For example, research has proven that therapy dogs help reduce inattention and improve social skills in children with ADHD, my kid didn’t suffer from allergies related to doggie hair, so I went ahead and brought home a rescue dog. Chico came to our life as a stray puppy, he followed my little girl to our car, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I called my husband and told him about that cute pup. He came early from work that same day and we both went to pick Gabriel from pre k and there he was, waiting in the parking lot. Chico was filled with energy and played around with my kid every day, he even sat down next to my son when he was playing video games. My son had difficulties with his sleeping patterns and once Chico started sleeping in his room and eventually in his bed his rest schedule was fixed. Chico was the perfect nonjudgmental friend, he played soccer, thug war, catch and even hide and seek. Every person that visit our home would interact with Chico and Gabriel was more than happy to show how smart and playful his dog was, he will also teach people how to play with his dog. Chico was never officially recognized as an emotional support dog, but he certainly was.

My son learned responsibilities and scheduling skills, he will feed and walk Chico a couple of days in a week, everybody in the house had a turn. When Gabriel had one of his occasional outburst Chico stayed close to him and showed him the meaning of unconditional love and my son social skills were improved. Chico lived with us for 13 years and my son which is now 18 years old still call him his best friend. Losing Chico due to cancer took a big toll from our hearths and although a dog doesn’t cure a child with ADHD the amounts of benefits, he brought to our home were amazing.
I will talk about other things that we tried with our son in my next blog.

April 22, 2020

Mom, I think I have ADD!

A couple of months ago my younger daughter who is a junior at high school came to me using this expression: “Mom, I think I have ADD”. I replied to her: “What makes you think you have an attention deficit disorder?” She said: “do you know how hard it is for me to learn in a classroom? Most of the time I’m just looking at the clock wishing time goes faster”. She said she didn’t like school anymore. For her, every day at school felt like a burden and sometimes she felt she can not even breathe. I told her that ADHD is not something you develop with time, it is a brain regulation disorder that affects more than
10% of American children and signs of ADHD need to be evident before age 12. She was formally assessed when she was 7 years old and the results of the evaluation showed she had the ability to sustain attention. So what could be wrong,? What could be affecting her learning like this?

She was recently diagnosed with anxiety, but what changed? She used to love school, she had good grades and many awards, she always wanted to be part of all school activities especially if she had the opportunity to lead a dancing group. In the beginning, we thought that the reason for her anxiety was due to the fact that we moved to the USA and she left behind friends, family and a home filled with childhood memories, but it’s been more than four years and she “can’t get over it”. What happens at her school on a daily basis that made her feel so unfit?

This past year I took an opportunity to work as a teacher in one of our county’s schools and what I discovered helped me understand her better. First, students can’t disconnect from their social media life even though phones are not allowed at schools. They manage to hide and sneak them in the classroom somehow, and the drama never stops. Being away from their phones is already an anxiety producer. Their peers’ opinions determine their self-esteem. And what about the drills? There are not only drills in case of fire but also lockdowns, and believe me, if they are not aware that it is “just a drill” they can be terrified.
I remember my first lockdown, I didn’t know what was going on but my students told me, after closing windows, locking doors and hiding the best they could in corners and under desks, they beg me to check my email for an announcement. Because there was no email about the matter they were under the impression that a shooter was at the school and that they would probably die. They couldn’t breathe. They were all over me and some girls were about to cry when the assistant director walked the halls checking that every door was locked. No wonder they don’t want to go to school, it’s a matter of life or death. Plus the amount of material they have to learn quickly and all the testing and demands we put over them to help them become standard citizens.

The reality is that according to the National Institute of Health, nearly 1 in 3 of all adolescents ages 13 to 18 will experience an anxiety disorder. The following is a checklist of signs that I copied from Healthychildren.org that might help you identified if your teen is suffering from anxiety:

Recurring fears and worries about routine parts of everyday life
Changes in behavior, such as irritability
Avoiding activities, school, or social interactions
Dropping grades or school avoidance
Trouble sleeping or concentrating
Substance use or other risky behaviors
Chronic physical complaints, such as fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches.

My daughter checked all the above. Her treatment includes prescription from the psychiatrist, she has a therapy Counselor, she has gone to youth retreats, she uses CBD oils and she still can’t manage. She suffers almost every day from stomach aches, she is not ready for school on time, she irritates easily and has poor grades. In the meantime we try to support her, we try not to overwhelm her and we listen. I, honestly, hope that she would continue her education in her own terms and without being a victim of this crippling anxiety. In the meantime, I just pray and believe that one day this shall pass and she will find joy in learning again.

February 9, 2020

A mile in his shoes

Going through different stages in our kids’ development brings unique experiences and feelings sometimes is about frustration, sadness, uncertainty, fear, hope, joy or fulfillment, but that is what makes life worth living. When Gabriel became a senior in high school it was time to start planning his higher education, visiting schools,filling applications, taking SATs, writing essays. Today I would like to share his college essay. He had help from a friend writing it but believe me it is his heart speaking through it.

Growing with learning disabilities

I remember when I was little about 5 years old and my mom was teaching me how to read for the first time. It was a beautiful sunny day with not a cloud in place in the Puerto Rico sky. She and I sat on our blue couch in our living room reading my first book. My mother tried to teach me what the words and letters meant and what they sounded like but for me it was very difficult to understand. I had a little sister who was three years old and she was reading quite well for her it was a simple concept to understand, to me reading looked like a bottomless well filled with rage. I felt like I was dumb because I couldn’t read while everybody else read like it was a piece of candy left up for grabs in a bowl. This affected my attitude against my family because every time I got home from school; I was angry for being that one kid who couldn’t read as well as the rest of the class. That anger led to many consequences and arguments between me and my parents.

Have you ever felt your stomach turn upside down because you were nervous or frustrated? That is how I used to feel each time I would try to read. I’ll never forget the first time I tried to read a book in front of my peers. Those same feelings of unease roared back into my belly followed by the feeling of being defeated before I’d even begun. When most people open a book the words and letters stay in a fixed position, but when I read a book something magical happens and words and letters shift and slide, taking on distortions and improper patterns. Dyslexia is a learning difficulty in which a person struggles with reading and interpreting words, letters, and symbols. I am dyslexic, but that isn’t the only barrier I’ve had to overcome to be successful.

You see I don’t just have dyslexia because that would be too easy right? I also have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), which is characterized as a chronic condition that involves decreased the ability to pay attention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. This translated into teachers and students attributing a lack of intelligence to me, thinking I was dumb or unproductive when in actuality I was lost. When called upon to answer a question the seconds would warp into minutes, and while it would appear to anyone on the outside that I wasn’t paying attention, in fact, I was just processing the information in a different way at a different speed.

This pattern quickly turned into a fear, a fear that was all consuming. How could one make it all the way through school and struggle with reading? It was almost as a shadow enveloped my world, turning it dark with judgment from my peers. I could feel their eyes piercing my skin, as I struggled through. All I could think was that the other kids read so much faster than I did. There would even be times when the teacher would interrupt me for taking too long, and while her words were kind the intention never felt that way to me.

Initially, my mother didn’t even have the tools necessary to understand my disability. She had feelings of hopelessness as she tried desperately to figure out a way to help me, but I was one step ahead and on the path toward self-sufficiency and helping myself. I decided that I would start small and practice reading whenever I could. Each day my eyes would seek new terrain: cereal boxes, postcards, and eventually comics. I continued my practice, strengthening my skills and confidence at the same time. My parents also helped by providing access to therapists. They worked diligently with us to ensure that I had a variety of techniques that could be used in times of frustration, anguish or anxiety. Additionally, they were able to provide my family with the additional support needed to help me succeed.

This years-long struggle taught me many valuable lessons. The first is that hard work and a positive attitude will always help you reach your goals. If I would have given up and given in I wouldn’t have made it this far. People have so many mischaracterizations and misconceptions about what a disability is. The term is so broad, and the specifics are individualized in nature. It means that each disabled person, just like each able person, is unique with their own special set of challenges. When you think of it like this, the differences seem to melt away. That is the mindset I’ve taken and helped others around me to adopt. Peers who have become friends have been exposed to my struggles, and in speaking with them and educating them on living with a disability we have developed stronger bonds and better friendships. There is a level of compassion that comes into play, and in these times, compassion is a welcome respite from the negativity in the world.

I’ve learned to hold onto a mantra to keep myself grounded. Whenever I feel down, I tell myself that I am a smart and good person. When people made faulty assumptions about my abilities, I proved them wrong by getting good grades and showing them, nothing would stop me from being a successful student in the class – not dyslexia or ADHD. As time went on, I became better and better at paying attention in class, and eventually, I found myself volunteering to read. I found the courage to step out on a ledge knowing that I wouldn’t fall. The result is that for the first time I felt successful for overcoming all of these difficulties that were previously paralyzing. Now for me, reading is not a fear but a reminder of one of the hardest battles I’ve ever fought in life, and now every time my eyes discover letters forming words, I feel pride and delight.

**Gabriel decided to start his college education in a community college and he was able to complete his first semester with such great grades that he made the dean list.**

January 3, 2020

About other therapies…

Multiple therapies are effective in any treatment. Goals are created to support and teach clients in their struggling areas. I was lucky to work with some amazing therapists for the past years and witnessed positive changes in some clients that were exposed to all these interventions. For example recreational therapy which targets depression and stress through fun activities in which coping skills are model and practice. The results from this kind of intervention were that students learned how to wait for their time, how to act and talk in front of others and there was an improvement in their self esteem. I paired with the recreational therapist at the school to create math, reading and writing interventions as part of these fun activities and many students showed improvement in their mental math skills and in their their spelling.

My son wasn’t exposed to recreational therapy just because I wasn’t aware of it, although we were told that a sport may be good for him. We tried baseball, it was my husband’s favorite sport,and who knew with my husband’s knowledge we might create the next Roberto Clemente. Haha what a disappointment, baseball was so boring for Gabriel he would just sit down in the field to play with the grass or just to stare at the stars. Then we tried soccer and running behind that ball made him happy, with just six year his team won the state finals. But it didn’t last ,Why? Gabriel’s coach was really good but he was from a foreign country and he struggled with the language so under the stress of a game he would talk and the kids would not understand him so he would yell at them. Gabriel would yell back at him and would walk out of the field and literally would walk away. The coach would apologize but the story was the same in each game until Gabriel decided that he did want to play again. Then we tried martial arts, but after a year Gabriel got bored, we went back to soccer but he missed his coach (irony). When we moved to Virginia he tried soccer again, but after his first season he quit. He was in tenth grade and understood the importance of being a team player and he learned to maintain focus on the goal of each game he played, at this point he would play any kind of sport but not in competitive level, he knew that it was about having fun. During his senior year a couple of friends invited him to try out for the Lacrosse team, and he made the varsity team, it was the best time of his high school years. He said that his coach taught him about the importance of accountability, of showing respect, of being responsible, and loyalty, qualities that every human being should display no matter where you were born or if you have disabilities or not.

Gabriel playing Lacrosse for the CFHS’ Eagles #14

September 13, 2019September 30, 2019

How did I get here?

I remember when my son was in preschool, at that time he was receiving speech therapy, and the social worker called me because he was dancing over the tables and running out of the classroom, they told that I needed to look for a better placement because they didn’t have enough personnel to attend this situations. I was under the impression they needed to figure out how to keep him in the classroom but instead they started pulling out my oldest daughter from her classroom to deal with his behaviors. I changed him to a special early ed program for children with language impairments and he succeed in everything. Summer came and as a stay at home mom I couldn’t wait to enroll him in a camp, you know how stressful and long some summer days can turn. When I picked him up in the afternoon the Vacation Bible School Coordinator was waiting for me at the door and asked me to keep him home because they couldn’t use their volunteer personnel in only one child. Those are the times in which you get upset with people, with church and with God. I knew I had a very energetic child that struggled trying to express himself with words, but you know he was just 5 years old, why people expected so much from him? Summer was over and when kindergarten came, I was so hopeful until l I received the dreaded call, this time it was his homeroom teacher yelling at me and saying she couldn’t stand him anymore and that I needed to go immediately and take him home. All his rights were violated that day and I knew he needed my protection and my love, but what was wrong with him?

Without second guessing myself I decided I was going to become a homeschool mom and my husband supported the idea, although my master’s in environmental science was left in the hanging. We looked for professional help, and the answers came. My son diagnosis included language delays, ADHD, specific learning disorder and oppositional defiant disorder, the complete cocktail. With all these findings more questions raised because if I didn’t understand the problems how I can provide the require help. I started reading and self-educating and after trying to teach him how to read unsuccessfully, because I had no clue about the science of reading, I decided he needed to be back in a school. This time I knew all his rights and I was able to explain his disabilities. I looked for a small size classroom in a private school and they were willing to enroll him only if I agree to teach so I can be near him to supported him. Having a successful career seemed to be draining in a toilet, but a mother hearth goes beyond and I don’t regret it. I found myself teaching middle and high school students with other learning disabilities, Asperger, Autism, Tourette syndrome, dysgraphia and dyscalculia. I wasn’t the only one begging for help, like me there were many parents, that is when I decided to become the best “teacher” (yes without license) by accommodating all my students to the needs of a few. I’m happy to say that all my science students succeed, some managed to complete high school even though it required a big effort for them, but others are just becoming doctors in medicine, accountants, analyst, psychologist, musicians, some enroll in military careers and even one of them is working for the NASA. That is why I believe in the power of good teaching, because it is inclusive.

I became an educational therapist because I wanted to do it better. I worked for the past years in a non-public in DC with children with emotional disabilities and/or learning disabilities. I was able to translate my ideas to the English language and helped English and Spanish speakers, oh because I forgot to mention that my son elementary and middle school education happened in Puerto Rico, yes, I am a Boricua pa que tu lo sepas!